Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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