I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
