Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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