Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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