I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
