oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
