So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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