I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
