my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
