never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
