Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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