i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
