yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
