GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
