arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
