Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
two words: eviction party
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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