"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
