Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she smelled like a LAN party
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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