Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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