never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
