Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
