me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
