I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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