i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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