That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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