; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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