I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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