someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
