There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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