we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
