first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
