i permit you to call me
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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