You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
