I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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