all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
