i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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