I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
