i would punch a child for taco bell
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I understand Curling. That high.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
