I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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