I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
