Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
