that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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