Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
