just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
