so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
