Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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