I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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