when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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