people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
