Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
