I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
