Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
