my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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